Scuba, Snorkel or Free Dive
A deeper understanding of friendships, partners and trust
We all have different types of friends and partners that we can rely on for various pieces of our lives- for example, there is the friend who you can call at a moments notice and tell them we are going out tonight to just grab a drink and dance the night away or maybe it’s the call in the middle of the day to take them away from work so you all can sit in the mani/pedi chair at the spa flipping through glossy magazines and skimming the top layer of life. This is what I define as a snorkel buddy-just keeping it all on the surface yet enjoying the view and experiences of life together on a whim. Little equipment is needed and you can always pop out at a moments notice. I think for many of us we have a majority of friendships and even life partners who are there for us in such a capacity, but not much more. I see it as rather lovely to surround ourselves with the lightheartedness fun and relaxation of such individuals-it keeps the flow of good energy going in the world. However, what do you do when you need a bit more substance to the experiences you want in your life?
Well, that is where you find another companion who is willing to strap on an oxygen tank and some fins and maybe even a full on wetsuit so you an explore life a little bit deeper. This is the friend or partner that you schedule a lunch with and end up talking and sharing life stories until the dinner menu is now placed on your table. They are the person you take on a vacation or holiday and want to share every second of the time together. There is an endless flow of conversation just like that flow of oxygen coming from your scuba tanks. In due time, though, you come to the beautiful realization that that person actually is your oxygen tank! They fill you with the necessary life source so you can go a little deeper and longer in the depths of this time and space we call life. You can explore those uncharted territories in a way that keeps you wanting more; however, there is only so much time with that tank of oxygen until it is empty and you both need return to dry land and fill it back up once again.
Finally, and most important, you have your free dive companion. This is the one who watches you dive deep and knows how vital it is for you to immerse yourself in the depths of your soul, yet they can pull you out if you pass out before reaching the surface once again. For me, this is what I have with my own life partner. We swim until we max the limits of our lungs and as we slowly rise to the light of the sky that fills us up once again we make sure the other knows that they have the other’s back or whole body to be sure you make it out alive through whatever challenges you saw while exploring the depths of your own being.
The more I understand these categories of friendships and partnerships, the stronger correlation I see to the idea of trust-trust towards the other individual, but also how much do we trust ourselves with them? The way I see it is that when I am snorkeling the amount of trust it takes to be on the surface and know that at any point in time the ability to let go and move on is relatively easy. That is what makes it most appealing for a majority people. The cost of the investment is also relatively low because there is not a whole lot too keep track of and measure-hence less trust is needed when choosing that level of activity in the waters of disclosure and emotions.
Then what does one do when they want to explore on a level beyond fringes and views from places that only the light touches? Another opportunity to invite in more risk and a deeper level of trust is what happens when one chooses to take the scuba path of friendship and partnership. First, one needs to invest in the appropriate size oxygen tank based on the level of trust that is going to be contained in the relationship. The beauty of this level of discovery with another person is that the two of you can choose to stay down in the murky water and see at a level of darkness that somehow brings more light into this life because you chose to stay in those unfamiliar surroundings for a few more breaths. Yes, there is a level of regulation that needs to happen that matches the amount of trust available, but the the joy of knowing you both can swim in a vast ocean of possibilities is exhilarating!
Again, how deep would you go with someone if you knew your life would be filled with an unmatched level of discovery?
If it is an unmatched level you are truly seeking, then I recommend free diving. There are no snorkels, no tanks, just a set of fully oxygenated lungs and the sheer desire to go beyond the boundaries of most souls on this planet. Free diving is definitely not for the faint of heart. The sheer idea of risking your life just to see if your body can handle the amount of strain and stress it needs to thrive in those conditions amazes me. Yet, so many of us are truly doing it these days but without a friend or partner to guide us and make sure we make it out of that situation alive. The deepest levels of trust with another person will take you to the deepest level of knowing of yourself-that is where this journey begins.
Take some time this week and review the relationships in your life. What type of adventures do you want to have in this lifetime and how do you wish to share them?What is holding you back from experiencing a deep dive, scuba or snorkel view of this incredible time we define as life? Trust in yourself and be open to trusting those around you as well. Enjoy the water!